“Honoring the intimacy”

To be completely transparent… I’m not even sure how to ‘pick up where we left off’. How do you fill the sudden gap of silence? We were here one minute, blogging away about our infertility, and then the next minute… we post a Plot Twist and leave it on a cliff hanger. Like… how do you take 3 months of radio-silence and fill the void with sound?

I could stress about it, honestly. And honestly… I did for a little while. I actually thought of never picking this blog back up again because…where do I go from here? Thank God for friends. If you have good ones like me…GREAT ones like me… they call you out on your B.S. and give you a good spanking when you need it. That’s what my friend did for me. I told her I wished, looking back, that I had kept blogging about our journey from the moment we found out about becoming pregnant to now and how because I hadn’t, people wouldn’t be able to see how much GOD has done for us. She came out swinging and made contact right where contact needed to be made: “Those are garbage thoughts. Those need to be thrown in the garbage. You were honoring the intimacy. You were honoring the intimacy with Jonathan and Eden and The Lord during that quiet season.”

Get great friends who will kick you in the butt when you need it.

I didn’t know it, but that WAS what I was doing. I felt shortly after we learned we were pregnant like I had been placed inside of a cocoon. I didn’t know it at the time but GOD was putting me inside a cocoon so I could marinate in the intimacy of what HE had just done. My silence was in part because I didn’t have the words for what I was experiencing. But in an even larger part… my silence was because I didn’t want to lose a moment of BEING. I wanted to BE in every moment of our promise-fulfilled - to feel every movement and breathe every breath and smell every smell and feel every feel. I wanted to be submerged in the tangibility of this new season.

Now that we’re 3 months in… I feel like I have some language for what I didn’t have language for before. I feel like I have insight I didn’t possess before and I feel like I’m able to articulate the emotion of things I didn’t know how to describe before.

So I’m back!
I’ll be writing simultaneous timelines for a little while - going backward in time while also talking about our present.

We hope you’ll cozy on up with us again as you once did and that you’ll find room to unwind.

Thank you so much for continuing with us on our journey. 🤍🤍🤍

Love, Bree